Pastry: Thick, robust and biscuity taste 2/10
Presentation: Patterned icing, proportionally poor 3/10
Value for money: £1.60 ($2.70) for four - Small portions, hardly a vanilla slice 2.5/10
Overall score: 2.9/10
With low expectations for the outcome of these frozen vanillas, myself and Flaky J (back on the scene over the festive break) sampled the goods. Noticeable from the outset was the short, squat appearance of each slice, with thick pastry in relation to the supposed custard filling. Left to defrost for the recommended 45 minutes, I bit through and felt sensitivity of my teeth with the ice cold middle. The pastry was obviously concocted to avoid sogginess from the freezing and thawing out process and had the consistency of tough bread and a taste that resembled digestive biscuits - but not in a good way. The icing was too thin to add impact and started running when picked up, so clearly doesn’t like being frozen. Altogether, I was right not to have high expeditions.
Flaky J’s assessment - Flaky J was too upset to comment.
Pastry: Satisfactory thickness but soggy and unhelpful 3/10
Presentation: Half decent, glossy white icing, nicely proportioned 6.5/10
Value for money: £1.76 ($2.80) for four - Small but adequate portions, messy to eat (requires wet wipes) 6/10
Overall score: 4.9/10
So attempt 2 saw me and Flaky J take out a four pack of Asda’s fresh custard slices. Though technically not a vanilla slice, it’s the same thing in most instances. An instant improvement from the disastrous frozen attempt, these boys contained smooth, thick, creamy custard (though somewhat flavourless) and the pastry could be easily consumed without chipping a tooth. Sadly the pastry was soggy, but at least it was pastry. The real highlight was the soft, white icing that heat formed on my fingertips and required a good lick to remove.
Flaky J’s assessment - “Good fundamentals for a 44p slice. Wish there was more flavour in the custard, vanilla flavouring was subtle. If I ever end up on benefits this may be my slice of choice.”