Pastry: Soggy inside and cardboardy elsewhere 4/10
Presentation: Tri-layer construction, heavy gloopy icing with cocoa pattern 7/10
Value for money: $6.50 - big portion, big price, little satisfaction 5/10
Overall score: 5.25/10
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Filling: Sadly lacking flavour, floury custard 5/10
Pastry: Soggy inside and cardboardy elsewhere 4/10 Presentation: Tri-layer construction, heavy gloopy icing with cocoa pattern 7/10 Value for money: $6.50 - big portion, big price, little satisfaction 5/10 Overall score: 5.25/10
Feeling like I had nothing left to loose after the farmers market I settled for a second vanilla slice of the day, from what turned out to be a lovely coffee stop at Grist Artisan Bakers. Perhaps these guys specialise in many other baked goods, but unfortunately I specialise in vanilla slices and in my opinion - they do not. This thing was pricey and big in size. The custard looked like it was bulging out the sides and I was expecting a vanilla cloud of freshly whipped creamy custard to meet my taste buds. What ensued was a rather heavy textured creamy, floury tasting custard, lacking any real vanilla flavour whatsoever. I can only describe the flavour as slightly tangy. The pastry too was unusual ,in as far as the middle layer being completely soggy and the other two layers being quite dry and hard to punch through. The layers lacked richness, butteriness and flakiness. The icing looked like something I had once concocted; thick, plasticy and way too much cocoa overpowering the flavours of the slice. Not what I’d expect from an Artisan Bakers.
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Filling: Light as air creamy vanilla custard 8/10
Pastry: Freshly baked, crisp and easy to bite through 8/10 Presentation: Your stereotypical Aussie vanilla slice 8/10 Value for money: $4.00 - a decent product for the price, but not memorable 8/10 Overall score: 8/10
En route to the Macedon Ranges Farmers Market in Kyneton I pulled into Country Cob to eagerly taste their award winning apprentice made vanilla slice at last years Great Australian Vanilla Slice Triumph. This thing is traditional in every way, resulting in a very uniform and familiar build and taste. The pastry, although not baked to a golden brown, had an excellent crunch that allowed for easy pickup and biting. There was obviously some oozing of the custard, but that is to be expected. With some more butter and a darker bake, more flavour would have carried through - but it was fresh and flaky nonetheless. The custard was soft and light and not overly sweet. An undertone of vanilla was present but I fear a mix of some kind was used to thicken the cream rather than egg yolk. In truth the icing was the weakest element, slightly grainy and too thick, it was oddly not even that sweet. You can see why these guys took out the awards last year, but diverting from the mainstream is a lot more innovative in my opinion.
Filling: The perfect ratio of vanilla speckled cream / custard 10/10 Pastry: Crisp, buttery, golden, flaky and divine 10/10 Presentation: A large, skinny slice, beautifully cut and dusted heavily 9.5/10 Value for money: $6.50- Pricey, but huge, filling and glutinous 9.5/10 Overall score: 9.75/10 I heard through the grape vine that a small patisserie in Castlemaine sold an awesome vanilla slice so I took the hour or so drive out to the country to check it out. The ex pastry chef and owner of the French Lettuce in Carlton runs this place - and I'm pretty sure most people consider that to be the best vanilla slice in Melbourne (but not me). A cute little setup they have here; an unassuming shop frontage, a few deck chairs out front and the bakers crafting away in the background plying their excellent trade. Everything on offer here looked awesome and fresh. Mrs B took out a ham and cheese croissant and a passion fruit eclair chocked full of passion fruit custard - like no other she had ever experienced.
My vanilla slice was a monster; thin, but long and tall and weighty in its build. Layers of beautifully baked golden flaky pastry held together the slice, allowing for easy pickup and efficient big bites. The pastry was so buttery and rich, fresh, crisp and slightly salty - as good as you'll get anywhere. The filling was truly unique and a bit of a game changer. A marbled mixture of vanilla bean eggy custard and folded whipped cream made this thing everything I had hoped for. It was rich, creamy, eggy, and each mouth full was an attack on my taste buds with delicate vanilla bean speckles running throughout the mottled goodness. A generous blizzard of icing sugar finished off this masterpiece. A quick Q&A:
Filling: Heavy whipped cream 6/10
Pastry: Beautifully fresh and flaky, faultless 10/10 Presentation: Nicely constructed and delicately iced 8/10 Value for money: $6.50- Over priced, but freshly baked and rich 6.5/10 Overall score: 7.6/10
I love a drive out to the countryside and barely need an excuse to pop into a boutique town and test their bakery out. Today was Malmsbury, and their tri-layer effort was devoured al fresco in the sun. At $6.50 we got off to a rocky start. Clearly they price their vanilla slice highly as the average around these parts is around $4. Admittedly the pastry was outstanding - the overall highlight. With clearly defined, thin, crisp, salty and buttery layers of flaky pastry the whole thing was straightforward to cut up with a cake fork. Unfortunately the filling of purely whipped cream was a let down. I would have expected some custard flavour or a whack of vanilla, perhaps even some jam....but no. Another plus was the millimeter thin layer of perfectly presented icing that balanced the saltiness of the pastry. A few tweaks (including the price) and these guys would have an excellent product.
Filling: Delicious tasting, overly set vanilla custard 7.5/10 Pastry: Hideously under baked and soggy 3/10 Presentation: Somewhat unique and pretentious 4/10 Value for money: $7- Ridiculously priced and well below par 3.5/10 Overall score: 4.5/10 A trendy Melbourne styled cafe in Port Fairy selling a decent coffee and freshly baked pastries is what I envisaged. Admittedly the coffee was great, but the vanilla slices being sold her are extremely confusing. Lets start with something positive - the flavour of the custard. With speckled vanilla bean running throughout the mix, the creaminess coupled with the sweet vanilla was delicious. However, the mixture suffers from far too much cornflour or setting agent and the texture resembled more of a panna cotta than a lush custard. Surrounding the custard were some very sad and under baked layers of 'pastry'. Although a good thickness they were just too soggy and offered nothing to the ensemble. And as for the lemon...Perhaps lets not even go there. A word of advice Bank St & Co - Get the product right, then price it accordingly.
Filling: Foamy sweetened cream, nothing else 5/10 Pastry: Invisible and undetectable 1/10 Presentation: Plump squares of cream with a pink hat 5/10 Value for money: $3.50. Better looking in the cabinet, impossible to eat 5/10 Overall score: 4/10 These vanilla slices looked half decent in the cabinet, but sadly mine got trounced in the takeaway bag. The icing had to be peeled off the bag's inner wall and transplanted back onto the slice. I have never eaten a vanilla slice where the pastry has actually gone M.I.A. I've had my fair share of soggy, stale, too thick, too thin, dry and flavourless pastry layers, but never have I had a slice that made me actually ask "Is there pastry in this thing?". If there was pastry here, it was a hairs width at best and practically undetectable to the taste buds. Furthermore, it allowed the cream to ooze out with every bite and half ended up on the floor. The icing was also too sweet on top of the already sweetened whipped cream.
Filling: Swiss cheese custard mix 3.5/10
Pastry: Under baked but a slight crisp 4/10 Presentation: Old school, traditional passionfruit topping 7/10 Value for money: $4.00- Pretty average all round 5/10 Overall score: 4.9/10
Stop one of a long drive to the South Australian border. Very traditional vanilla slices are being sold at this trendy little bakery in Winchelsea - the ADHD pink icing offering or the passionfruit icing variety. Obviously selecting the latter, I chomped this thing down quickly. Its consumption benefited from being set like a jelly rather than an oozing custard bite scenario. The custard was bland and pretty flavourless, as were the anemic pastry layers. The only real sweetness came from the icing, which was actually the highlight of the slice. A welcome pit stop but not a great vanilla slice.
Filling: Smooth, whipped (but vanillaless) custard 6/10 Pastry: Thin, crisp, golden sheets 8.5/10 Presentation: Dodgy pink icing, but impressively built 8.5/10 Value for money: $4 - Great size, fresh, but nasty synthetic raspberry icing 6.5/10 Overall score: 7.4/10 Stop two of my road trip to Sydney allowed me to tick off a bucket list item. I have always wanted to see the World's largest rolling pin! As sizable and surprisingly dysfunctional as it turned out to be, their neon-topped vanilla slice was purchased and split in half for tasting shortly after with Flaky J. The item in question was better than Euroa's two hours before, but only slightly. The custard had a nice consistency, but again lacked notable flavour. The pastry was a darker and tastier colour and had a really good crunch to it when bitten. As predicted the icing was far too sweet and in my opinion ruined the slice. The artificial raspberry flavour wasn't nice whatsoever and I actually left the icing behind in favour of a naked topped half. I love the proportions of the custard and the rolling pin overall.
Filling: Firm, slightly tasteless custard 5/10 Pastry: Thin, crisp sheets, good bite 7/10 Presentation: Neatly iced and cut, good proportions 7.5/10 Value for money: $4.75 - Good size, fresh, but uneventful 6/10 Overall score: 6.3/10 With no new leads to follow down the Peninsula, I settled for a French patisserie style vanilla slice in the heart of Mornington. Sadly, unlike some of the big guns I've tasted down this way, this specimen was quite forgettable. The initial diagnosis was positive; neatly built, good colour and well priced. Unfortunately the main substance of the slice - the custard, was just very bland and too firm for my liking. The pastry was crisp and light and crunched beautifully. The icing too was pretty good; thin, sticky and a good aftertaste of chocolate. Perhaps with their main business being in European breads, their custard is not their main priority.
Filling: Velvety whipped cream with vanilla hint 6.5/10 Pastry: Light, crisp, risen puff pastry 7/10 Presentation: Neatly squared and stacked high 8/10 Value for money: $4.30, freshly baked (on a Sunday) 6/10 Overall score: 6.9/10 When passing through the country I always try and stop somewhere for a v.s. Having knocked out Lancefield Bakery some time ago, I had heard a rumour that the general food store sometimes sold a decent effort. Low and behold, on a Sunday no less - a freshly baked specimen. Piled high in between two layers of gently risen puff pastry was mounds of lightly vanilla scented whipped cream that was actually rather nice, but just not a custard. The pastry was delicate, crispy and cut well with a knife. At $4.30 I would argue that the ingredients and execution might make this slightly too expensive, but nevertheless tasty enough and freshly baked on a Sunday is very welcoming.
Filling: Tasteless, whipped cream 4/10
Pastry: Old and dry, unable to bite through 2/10 Presentation: Looks better than it tastes, neatly iced 7/10 Value for money: $3, typically sized portion, stale and a throwaway job 2/10 Overall score: 3.75/10
With a few nice looking bakeries in Monbulk I settled on this place - BIG mistake! It's been a while since I have taken two bites out of a vanilla slice and it be so bad that it was a throwaway job. Initially I thought that my choice was well justified with a very presentable offering purchased for a mere $3. Unfortunately, the pastry was so dry and old I just couldn't consume more than two mouthfuls. So old was the slice that the icing cracked and fell off in large chunks. A very bland and tasteless filling of plain whipped cream wasn't enough to persuade me that the nearest bin was the best option for more than half of this thing. Sad times!
Filling: Copious amounts of sweetened vanilla cream 6/10
Pastry: Pale, day old but still functional 4/10 Presentation: Large and heavily dusted 7/10 Value for money: $4.50, largish portion, not made on site 6/10 Overall score: 5.75/10
This place was made aware to me by a student I teach, who proclaimed that this place had "the best vanilla slice". Whilst I was passing by it was an opportunity to see if this was indeed the case. Sadly, the slice did not live up to its reputation, or perhaps my expectations are now so high that this slice would not feature anywhere near my top ten these days? Nevertheless, there was obvious vanilla content in the sweetened whipped cream filling, but cream alone does not satisfy the custard criteria sufficiently. The pastry was lacking a golden baked colour and crispness. The fact that all other cakes are baked on site, but these are brought in led me to believe that this was not freshly baked and the pastry was only functional for eating freestyle. Keep the recommendations coming!
Filling: Huge amounts of sweet but disappointing custard 6/10
Pastry: Fresh, but underbaked and lacking flakiness 6/10 Presentation: Enticing, imposing and sticky, glossy icing 8/10 Value for money: $3.50, large sized portion, freshly baked 8/10 Overall score: 7/10
Firstly, this bakery/cafe is awesome and is obviously the hub of the beautiful town of Emerald in the Dandenong Ranges. I was in town for a week and frequented the bakery for supplies most days, but sampled the infamous vanilla slice on day one of my break.
Whilst the positives are obvious; price, aesthetics and portion size, the overall verdict was that it lacked finesse in the pastry flakiness and overall custard flavour. A warm plate and a vanilla slice was an interesting combo and allowed for some sticky icing finger residue. A great, sweet icing it was too. I was slightly disappointed with the lack of cutting vanilla flavour to the filling. Whilst the quantity of custard came in abundance, the overall richness and flavour was lacking. Similarly, the pastry was fresh, but its overall texture and flakiness was lacking due to the fact that it was still quite pale in colour and would have benefited from longer in the oven.
Filling: Powdered, bland custard 3.5/10
Pastry: Crispy, flavourless sheets 4/10 Presentation: Well proportioned, rustic, homemade and inconsistent 5/10 Value for money: $4.50 (estimate), lacking taste and decadence 4/10 Overall score: 4/10
Million dollar views eating this heavy takeaway purchase, but sadly no million dollar vanilla slice. Eyeing up only three remaining slices from their daily batch I had a good feeling about this, but sadly everything was just not quite right. The custard looked pretty good, but was really poorly conceived overall. A heavy dose of powdered mix and milk would be my guess; lacking richness and any vanilla content. The pastry had a reasonably good crunch to it, but gave way with the bursting custard bites. The icing sugar only offered some slight sweetness to the otherwise pretty bland components. What is with bakeries that don't put prices on their cakes too? A vanilla slice and muffin for $8.50? Your guess is as good as mine?!
Filling: Creamy custard, slight hint of vanilla 7/10 Pastry: Impossibly hard to cut 4/10 Presentation: Decent portion size, attractively presented 8/10 Value for money: $4.70, fresh but unworkable pastry 5/10 Overall score: 6/10 When working my way around the small townships of the stunning Mornington Peninsula I found the Red Hill Baker selling a great range of cakes. Their vanilla slices looked very appetizing in the cake cabinet and at $4.70 they were reasonably priced, I thought. The slice itself had some flaws; namely the layers of plasterboard pastry. You can see from the picture that my efforts at trying to cut through the layers with a fork made the most almighty of messes on my plate. I have never encountered such stiff pastry in a vanilla slice before and I didn't really enjoy having to really chew my way through, so gave up and polished off the filling instead. The custard itself was tasty, fresh and light, but with no pastry was a little disappointing.
Filling: Creamy, fresh custard 7/10
Pastry: Buttery, flaky and dark - the hero 8.5/10 Presentation: Neatly cut and dusted 8/10 Value for money: $2.40, freshly baked on a Sunday 9/10 Overall score: 8/10
You have got to love King Hot Bread in Ballarat. Unassuming from the outside, but simple, cheap and fresh products are being baked everyday here. I love that they are honestly selling yesterdays cakes for cheaper , but still offer freshly baked cakes for a still very cheap price - even on a Sunday.
The profiteroles were also worthy of a mention and the mix of white and milk chocolate topped balls is genius. However, its the vanilla slice I'm interested in. With some extremely flaky, buttery pastry and a generous dusting of icing sugar on offer I had to eat this one freestyle outside of the car. It took about 4 mouthfuls to consume; filled with airy, creamy custard - leaning more towards the custard powder flavour than vanilla, but tasty none the less. These lesser known bakeries are always worth a punt.
Filling: An absurd amount of fresh, creamy custard 10/10
Pastry: Buttery, fine layers of flaky pastry 8.5/10 Presentation: Bursting at the seems, obvious jam layer 10/10 Value for money: $7 (estimated), ridiculous sized portion, freshly baked 9.5/10 Overall score: 9.5/10
Wow..two cake deliveries in three days resulted in these two handsome chaps being hung on my gate on a Tuesday evening by my good friends Phil & Marian Puff. And my god, they were good!
Thanks Pepi Rynolds for the initial heads up about these and they were indeed worth the wait...and speaking of weight...they were HEAVY! Very similar in concept, stature and taste to the famous Sorrento slice, I initially thought they were the same, however upon closer inspection I would argue that the MM slice have more vanilla content and more jam than it's rival. The creamy custard was delivered by the bucket load and had a lovely yellow hue from an egg or two. The jam added further sweetness and the pastry just dissolved when punctured with a fork. Altogether, big on price, big on size and big on flavour. A worthy entry into my Hall of Fame.
Admirer of the site, Andrew, sent me a 'must try' bakery in slightly remote Leitchville, Victoria. With a three hour drive to plan, it was coincidental that friends Emma and Simon were driving through on their way to Cahuna this weekend. The diamonds that they are, they returned after their weekend away with one traditional and one French vanilla slice (that Andrew holds in such high regard).
Exact costings were uncertain, but they estimated that they were around $3-4 each, but cost aside the two slices were completely different. Having been purchased on Saturday and dropped off on Sunday night, the two slices weren't 'fresh', though the French vanilla certainly held up well. The traditional slice's pastry was soggy by this point and the custard just didn't have the same flavour and vanilla content. The pink icing was not a turn on and served no real purpose aside from adding some sweetness. The French vanilla's creamy, fluffy, sweet custard was very good and was sandwiched between two sheets of crumbly, thin pastry that still cut well with a knife. Thanks for the home delivery service guys! Thanks for the recommendation Andrew; not a bad shout!
Filling: Creamy, thick custard 6/10
Pastry: Slightly thicker than average, lightly baked 5.5/10 Presentation: Neat square block, thick passionfruit icing 7/10 Value for money: $4.50 (estimated), sizable portion, fresh 7.5/10 Overall score: 6.5/10
The surprise third inclusion of my Sunday night delivery from Emma and Simon was this passionfruit topped lump from lovely Heathcote. In comparison with the two I had already smashed along with Mrs B seconds earlier, it differed quite substantially. The pastry was thicker and not as golden in its bake, though it served well to pick up and cut neatly. The custard was pretty good, though not overly sweet or vanilla flavoured; its texture pleasant. I wanted to love the passionfruit icing but in truth it wasn't as strong as I was hoping for, sparse in black seeds and a tad too thick overall. Tasty enough. Thanks again for the delivery E&S.
Filling: Double layer (Whipped cream & custard) 9/10
Pastry: Light as air, flaky, light, pale baked 7/10 Presentation: Enticing and commanding, neatly dusted 8/10 Value for money: $6, huge portion size, freshly baked 8/10 Overall score: 8/10
A hearty and traditional slice in a beautiful spot. This slice was big and extremely filling. It rivals the Grants of Sherbrooke vanilla slice in terms of size and difficulty to finish. The twin layer filling is a nice touch and not one that I have regularly come across when out on the road. The airy pastry made the slice very easy to cut up and slowly chomp through, but I think with so much cream on offer a hint of strawberry jam would have given the whole thing a little more sweetness. A darker baked pastry would have also offset the intense creaminess of the mammoth slice. Nevertheless, a worthy inclusion into the Snot Blog.
Filling: Smooth, airy unsweetened custard 7/10
Pastry: Crisp, risen puff pastry 6 /10 Presentation: Thorough dusting of icing sugar 6/10 Value for money: $4, freshly baked, generous portion 7/10 Overall score: 6.5/10
I finally got out to the lush Yarra Valley and visited the popular Gladysdale Bakehouse. For a measly $33 I walked away with two freshly baked pies, two Byron Bay coffee company lattes and the four cakes as pictured. My butter chicken pie was extremely tasty, as was the coffee. The cakes were consumed later on with Em and Lynsey and the reviews are as follows:
Byron: The double chocolate brownie was dense and rich, the salted caramel mud cake was highly sweet, salty and moist. Then the vanilla slice divided the group; with some great attributes and some slight disappointments. I ate my share of the vanilla slices but felt like I could have eaten more. The custard had the homemade custard powder taste to it which was quite pleasant, but not sweetened. It's texture as smooth as you'll get and as light as air and with a good 'squidge' factor when eaten freestyle. The pastry was crisp, but not like most other multi-layer slices you buy. It's single layer construction did the job and made cutting into portions straight forward, but I think it could have been more buttery and flaky. Em: I thought that this vanilla slice was reasonably priced at $4. The pastry was flaky and had a nice texture whilst the custard consistency was firm, but had a softness to it. The only fault for me was the lack of flavour. 5/10 Lynsey: Beautifully presented, I expected this vanilla slice to have an above average taste. Unfortunately, the custard lacked flavour and I was a bit disappointed. Great price at $4 and the pastry had a lovely flaky texture. 6/10
Rating: 9/10
In one word: Authentic Sunny and warm, a farmers market and a historic bakery selling awesome sourdough and freshly baked vanilla slices...what more could a guy want on a Saturday? I finally managed to get to Trentham to sample their goods and I was really fulfilled, leaving with a whopping great loaf to cut up and have for the next few days and a belly full of fresh pastry and glorious custard. Their vanilla slice was authentic and simple. The custard was free from the standard bakery's custard powder and setting agent and full of thickened cream, egg and vanilla bean speckles. It's richness and 'sloppy' nature was a delight to consume with layers of beautifully puffed flaky pastry. Their slice is hugely different to most others, with pastry actually puffed out like a strudel and the sloppy, creamy custard. There is no way that you attempt to eat this one free style or without a spoon or cake fork. Fantastic combination and at $6, not that unreasonable in price given the quality.
Rating: 9.5/10
In one word: Sensational The hysteria that surrounds Just Fine Food's vanilla slice is state known, so I decided to try the bakery 100 metres down the road that had no queue, lots of vanilla slices and cheaper (and just as large) vanilla slices. Well worth the gamble too I might add. The slice came in a $6.50 (a dollar cheaper than its competitor) and the portion size is pound for pound identical. You can see the size of the slice in relation to my face in my photographs! The slice was sensational from start to finish, with every mouthful came a hit of beautiful crisp puff pastry and a lightly whipped, creamy vanilla custard. The texture of the custard was equal to that of The French Lettuce and Just Fine Food in my opinion and I would happily back the underdog and pass on my recommendations for this 'lesser known' bakery in the popular Sorrento.
Rating: 7.5/10
In one word: Hefty I have fallen in love with Johnny Ripe; from its lush green surroundings, to its awesome coffee and its smiley and friendly staff. Their portion sizes are huge and I have to say that their sandwich board on the road advertising 'quality baked goods' was spot on. Their steak and rosemary pies and sausage rolls were both very tasty and the vanilla slice had some great features. Notably, their portion sizes are huge and the prices are extremely reasonable. The hefty vanilla slice I took away was $6 and worth every cent as it was great fun to dissect and consume. The pastry was golden, buttery and firm to cut. The custard was very eggy in flavour and reminded me a lot of my favourite French desert Creme aux Ouefs (Egg creme) which is kind of like an egg custard set in a pot. Although I love an eggy custard the vanilla flavour was missing and the texture was just that little bit too set for it to be a viscous custard as I like it. The icing sugar topping was also just that little bit too thick, but did complement the pastry and eggy filling. I will definitely be back - I wonder if this gets read by the bakers and taken into consideration?
Rating: 6/10
In one word: Buttery Rolling Pin are well known for their pies and are award winners in this area. I didn't sample a pie, but I did devour a $3.50 vanilla slice. It wasn't a bad little slice, a finger of buttery, squidgy custard, nestled between some pretty average but firm pastry. The icing on top was soft and sticky when consumed free style. I would have to say that the slice is in keeping with traditional Aussie bakeries, but the custard was more pudding mix than homemade eggy custard. |
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January 2022
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