Pastry: Fine layers of syrup soaked filo pastry 8/10
Presentation: Simplistic but appertising 7/10
Value for money: $0 - Free at a party, but I’d buy one for sure N/A
Overall score: 8/10
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Filling: Smooth and creamy, eggy semolina custard 9/10 Pastry: Fine layers of syrup soaked filo pastry 8/10 Presentation: Simplistic but appertising 7/10 Value for money: $0 - Free at a party, but I’d buy one for sure N/A Overall score: 8/10 An interesting Greek twist on a vanilla slice that was a desert at a friends daughter’s birthday party. Similar in concept to baklava, but with baked semolina custard filling, the pastry element is filo soaked in honey or syrup. A rich golden colour and wafer thin, it had more than a hint of cinnamon and was delicious. The custard too was really tasty; full of egg, a hint of vanilla and a slight semolina texture, also allowing it to remain rigid enough to be cut and portioned. With only the two elements to concentrate on I took out two slices of this and would go back for more if I could. Better than birthday cake for sure! Not quite a vanilla slice as we know it, but effectively the same elements.
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Filling: Gelatinous and near flavourless 2.5/10 Pastry: Thick, hard and inedible 0.5/10 Presentation: Worryingly pale and heavily iced 3/10 Value for money: $3.80 - Not expensive but total waste of money 2/10 Overall score: 2/10 I was duped into buying this vanilla slice with only limited visibility of the shelf it sat on in Edgar’s Road Bakery Cafe. Had I seen the anemic pastry and set yellow custard it would have been a ‘walk slowly backwards and exit out the store’ moment. So when I unraveled the packaging in my car and took one look out of this thing, I knew it was going to be awful. I tentatively took a small bite from a corner, to discover that I wouldn’t attempt to even consume the ‘pastry’. Thick and uncompromising layers, they tasted somewhat like cardboard - totally disgusting. The custard was scraped out with a fork I had in the glove box and was just the right side of terrible. With the pastry out of action I too ignored the slab of icing on top, seeing no need to indulge in a kilo of sugar unnecessarily. I’m pretty sure that even the one in the school canteen tastes better than this one. Never again will I buy something I cannot fully see; lesson learned.
Filling: Crusty round the edge, slightly set generic mix 3.5/10
Pastry: Underbaked and lacking crunch 3/10 Presentation: Pretty standard rectangular effort 6/10 Value for money: $4 - Average portion size, not one to have again 4/10 Overall score: 4.1/10
A short pit stop on the way home from the park uncovered a new (or old) milk bar down Hoffman’s Road. My son and I sat down, he enjoyed his icy pole whilst I got a vanilla slice brought over to snack on.
The discolouration of the filling around some of the edges was evident upon close inspection, plus some layers of pastry that still looked a bit raw. Indeed this was the case when bitten. The filling was nothing more than a standard pudding mix that had been set with a hefty dose of gelling agent, clearly not freshly assembled due to the crusty and darker shade of mix around the edges. The pastry too was weak, very blonde in colour, lacking butter, richness and translucent in patches. Though the components themselves weren’t great the overall taste wasn’t too bad, with a nice sweetness to finish from the half decent icing. Nevertheless, I didn’t finish the slice and left the crusty, unbaked areas on the plate upon exiting.
Filling: Serviceable vanilla custard 7/10
Pastry: Tightly compacted, somewhat dry 6/10 Presentation: Solid effort, professionally presented 8.5/10 Value for money: $4 - Average portion size, a cheeky surprise 8/10 Overall score: 7.8/10
Friday night, an hour to kill in Hawthorn after work, what else better to do than grab a burger and a vanilla slice from Glenferrie Road? Having never ventured into Picasso’s Cafe before, I wasn’t aware that they sold so much freshly made food, I naively assumed they were a pizza shop. I optimistically ordered two and sat down with my colleague Custard J, for us to both devour in house.
Served with a dusting of icing sugar and wrapped cutlery, I was satisfied with the initial quality of the product for a reasonable $4. J attempted a few cutting techniques with no luck, until I showed him the 90 degree rotate, tong grip, knife slide, tried and tested method I’ve come to adopt with utensils. Cutting into small pieces, it was immediately evident that the pasty was fresh, but exceptionally tough. Baked in tightly compacted dark brown layers, the texture proved quite dry instead of rich and flaky, potentially lacking butter content. The custard had a dark yellow colour and looked appertising, until the first cut revealed a more set texture than anticipated. Though creamy, sweet and flavoured with vanilla the custard lacked a bit of ooze when cut. The real suprise came from the seemingly traditionally constructed icing, with white, glossy fondant drizzled with chocolate. Wrong. Coffee to be precise. A sweet, quite intense coffee flavour finished each mouthful, like a tiny shot of espresso, rather refreshing and completely unexpected. A debut critique from J in the company of a connoisseur, with some shared satisfaction from a reasonably well executed slice. Filling: An unhealthy amount of vanilla cream custard 6/10 Pastry: Risen and puffed, golden layers of crumbly, messy pastry 6/10 Presentation: Rough, ready and rustic 5.5/10 Value for money: $7 (estimate) - double size portion, too much for one serve 5/10 Overall score: 5.6/10 It’s easy not to be seduced by the homemade appeal of this Goliath vanilla slice in Mount Martha. Undoubtedly the largest slab I’ve encountered in my time doing the blog, this thing sat unpredictably on my plate for a good few minutes prior to me beginning its deconstruction. With a few items to compare scale in the pictures, including my boy’s actual 1:1 scale London bus, you can clearly see the scale of the task. Easily enough for two, maybe three cake enthusiasts, it’s a shame my son is dairy intolerant as I might have let him loose on my leftovers here.
I’ve noticed that most of the slices I’ve eaten down the peninsula are larger than average, with successes occurring at Just Fine Food, Mount Martha Fine Foods and Baked in Sorrento. Sadly, this one did not follow suit in the pursuit of greatness. Though impressive in its construction and somewhat rare to see homemade puff pastry puffed to this extreme, the two layers on their own probably scaled 60mm. Thrown in between these sheets must have been a at least 500ml of whipped cream, sweetened and flavoured with vanilla. The sheer amount of ingredients almost killed me, and I had to stop with a third of the slice remaining. The pastry seemed fresh, extremely crumbly and messy, and quite light due to its level of puff. It clearly contained butter in the mix and a golden brown baked colour was instantly identifiable. The filling is what let the slice down. Normally I crave more, but this was just too much. I must admit, it was fun demolishing it with a fork!
Filling: Heavily set vanilla custard mix 5.5/10
Pastry: Neatly puffed but lacking a buttery richness 6/10 Presentation: Neat, almost perfectly cube shaped, lightly dusted 7.5/10 Value for money: $1.70 - Small sized portion, not left wanting more 6/10 Overall score: 6.2/10
With only a handful of bakeries to choose from in the immediate area, I opted for a pit stop in Fawkner. I’ve never been to Bonwick Street, in fact I never knew the village existed. A half decent little parade of shops, with some trendy cafes and a few bakeries, I’m sure I will pop back at some point for another vanilla slice from a nearby competitor. I was drawn into the Italian Pasticceria offering a huge array of creatively presented sweet goods. With only a vanilla slice in mind I had to ignore such items and paid the friendly lady a very small $1.70 in exchange for a very small vanilla slice. As it turned out, I’m pleased this wasn’t a door step- seized slice selling at $6, as you will read.
Firstly, the custard was a complete red herring; appearing creamy and rich, in fact it was nothing more than a vanilla flavoured powder mix set with copious amounts of gelatine or equivalent thickening agent. It felt rubberised and was not overly pleasant in texture. The pastry too looked very appertising upon inspection; obvious layers of puffed flaky pastry and a good dark brown colour. In truth, this was partly the case, but the pastry proved somewhat dry and lacking a buttery richness that results in a beautiful crunch and flake. Fresh at least. With little else to comment on, one can only really say that the size portion is a good for a nibble and very reasonably priced, but unfortunately the quality of the item wasn’t outstanding. |
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January 2022
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