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Farine Artisan Bakery - Spring Hill, QLD

4/15/2022

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Filling: Unknown, tasteless substance 1/10
Pastry: Tightly packed dark layers, lacking flake and butteriness 5.5/10
Presentation: Well executed pastry crumb finish, well decorated icing 8.5/10
Value for money: $6.60 - Medium portion, poor flavours, didn’t seem fresh 3/10
Overall score: 4.5/10

I’m a big advocate for vegan pastries, with both my kids being allergic to dairy. So since visiting Farine Artisan Bakery in Spring Hill I was surprised to read about their numerous vegan alternatives. This left me wondering if my vanilla slice was in fact a vegan alternative, without realising what I was buying.

The slice itself was well put together, with thought and time put into its structure and decoration, noticeably the dusted pastry crumb edging and vanilla and chocolate patterned fondant icing. Sadly that’s about all the positives I can mention. It’s price was hefty but justifiable if delicious, but it failed in every department once tasted. The golden pastry sheets looked amazing, but were lacking richness and flake making me assume it had been baked with margarine or vegetable oil instead of butter. The custard looked fluffy and creamy but in actual fact was grainy and flavourless, not even distinguishable as pastry cream or anything similar. Even the icing lacked sweetness most bizarrely. With so much pastry used for the decorative element and it’s inherent lack of flavour, I found the whole slice to be quite unrewarding and I didn’t finish it.

I’d be keen to know if this was in fact a vanilla slice as I know it or a vegan alternative. I didn’t see anything to suggest in the store to indicate I was buying a vegan alternative.
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Flour & Chocolate Patisserie- Northgate, QLD (Revisit)

4/7/2022

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The original review can be found here:
http://byronsvanillasliceblog.weebly.com/snot-blog/flour-chocolate-patisserie-northgate-qld

I rated Flour & Chocolate’s triple stacked vanilla slice (Mille-fuille) a 9.5/10 just over a year ago. That day I had waited 20 minutes just to be served so was duly rewarded with rich, buttery goodness. I’m happy to report that 14 months later I had to wait around 2 minutes for service, paid no extra cost for my slice and it tasted every bit as good. I had the satisfaction of taking this one home and eating it at a leisurely pace as to truly savour every creamy, crunchy, indulgent mouthful.

I’ve found it hard matching the quality of this vanilla slice in my time in Brisbane so far, so if they remain this consistent I may have to make my trip to Northgate a regular thing when all else fails.

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Homemade Galaktoboureko (by me)

3/27/2022

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Filling: Creamy and sweet, but eggy semolina custard 9.5/10
Pastry: Baked golden and flakey and doused in syrup 10/10
Presentation: Somewhat rustic, distinguishable layers 7.5/10
Value for money: N/A
Overall score: 9/10

Recipe sourced from: www.mygreekdish.com/recipe/galaktoboureko/

I wanted a baking challenge so took on a traditional Greek galaktoboureko- a semolina custard pudding, a cross between a vanilla slice and baklava. I’ve reviewed them before on The Blog, but never baked with phyllo pastry prior to this. I was concerned that my syrup was too runny, but was relieved to watch it absorb and set sticky and glossy on the pasty sheets.

I studied the recipe and stuck to the processes as best as possible, with the outcome significantly better than I was expecting for my first attempt. I portioned up 10 slabs of unequal size, and hand delivered 5 to neighbours and friends in need of come freshly baked custardy love, leaving the remaining 5 for Mrs B and I to devour.

We sampled the galaktoboureko both warm, just after it had been baked, and then cold the next day. Surprisingly the pastry on day two was almost as flakey as day 1, with the syrup coating it but not making it soggy. The custard became less eggy in flavour when cold, but the creaminess and semolina texture was probably a little more rich when warm. The syrup, containing infused cinnamon and lemon zest was not just sweet, but really punchy in flavour. I think next time I may even slightly up the quantities of these two ingredients to make them more prominent.

With the phyllo pastry quite fiddly to work with I will aim to encase the pie better next time for easier removal from the tray I may even top with crushed pistachio and freeze dried raspberries for extra decoration and bitterness to cut through the sweetness and richness. A completely worthwhile venture and with all ingredients costing about $10 I would say outstanding value for money. I could easily adapt the recipe to make a dairy free version for the kids too. I will keep you posted,
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The Bread Hound - St Lucia, QLD

3/22/2022

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Filling: Yellow rubbery custard 4.5/10
Pastry: Thick slabs, lightly baked and soggy 4/10
Presentation: Suspected let down, heavily set and thick icing 5/10
Value for money: $5 - Small portion, very lacklustre 3/10
Overall score: 4/10

I called in to an unknown part of the ‘burbs, St Lucia. I stumbled upon The Bread Hound selling their ‘retro’ vanilla slices. Little did I expect the slice to actually resemble something from 20 or so years ago. This thing wouldn’t be out of place in a school canteen, with its heavy set gelatinous custard filling and centimetre thick white fondant icing almost impenetrable. The whole thing was a let down, from price, to portion size, to quality of ingredients, freshness and taste. I can sometimes overlook a jelly-like custard if it’s smooth, creamy and tasty, but I could not overlook the overly thick layers of underbaked, soft and starting to go soggy pastry. They provided nothing to the piece other than a method of pick up. I chose to cut the slice with a knife, only to find the knife became encased in custard like the sword in the stone. Next….
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Mr T’s Bakery - Grange, QLD

2/6/2022

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Filling: Thick, buttery and gelatinous custard 5/10
Pastry: Lacking freshness and flake 5/10
Presentation: Dubiously thick icing, hint of passionfruit seeds 6/10
Value for money: $5.50 - Medium portion, uninspiring 3/10
Overall score: 4.6/10

I couldn’t resist calling in to Mr T’s Bakery to see if the former A-Team hero now bakes quality products. Clearly not the same Mr T, but none the less I got what I came for and took home a vanilla slice. Selling at a slightly expensive $5.50 the portion was small to medium in size and when taken out the bag the top layer of pastry containing the giant slab of icing fell away from the custard, so not a great start.

The pastry itself was starting got go soggy from soaking up the moisture from the filling and the topping. It may have been half decent when freshly baked, but flakey and crisp it was not. The custard was quite unusual and not like most standard bakery custards. It was very buttery and thick, almost like a buttery jelly but richer. It wasn’t the worst tasting custard ever, but lacked creaminess and vanilla flavour. The icing turned out to be a whipped butter icing containing a hint of passionfruit, and again wasn’t terrible, just not great. I’m pleased I ate this one at home with cutlery as I wouldn’t have enjoyed picking this thing up with a centimetre of icing sticking to my fingers. I pity the fool that has no cutlery with this slice!
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Kenmore Plaza Bakery - Kenmore, QLD

1/13/2022

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Filling: Thick, slightly gelatinous custard 6/10
Pastry: Pale and lacking crunch 4.5/10
Presentation: Built high and iced with thick fondant 6/10
Value for money: $4.20 - Medium portion, not fresh and heavy going 6/10
Overall score: 5.6/10

Stopping at Kenmore Plaza for the first time led me to the local bakery. A typical village, no-frills establishment, I thought the vanilla slice had some potential when inspected. I swapped $4.20 for my slab and had my morning tea in the car.

The slice was heavy, both physically in terms of size to weight ratio and stomach space. I noticed the below average pastry first, as it proved tricky to manoeuvre the slice from bag to fingers to mouth. With sheets on the slightly thicker side and baked quite pale the pastry wasn’t really up to task, but at least not soggy from being sat out for hours. With a large serving of custard I was pleased it had some merit. Heavy and gelatinous aside, it was cold, creamy, smooth and tasted of vanilla. The icing was about twice the thickness it needed to be and was overly sweet (obviously).

Sadly, overall the slice was quite forgettable, but by no means the worst around.
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King Street Bakery - Fortitude Valley, QLD

1/13/2022

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Filling: Light and airy vanilla cream custard 9/10
Pastry: Golden and crunchy, top layer exposed 8.5/10
Presentation: Rudimentary but neat 6.5/10
Value for money: $7.75 - Medium portion, delicious and light 8/10
Overall score: 8/10

I finally managed to get to Fortitude Valley to call in at King Street Bakery, a modern French-inspired patisserie. With lots of delicious items on sale, I predictably left with the one item I intended. Selling at a rather expensive $7.75 I was initially disappointed at the aesthetic of the vanilla slice, with a basic three layer construction and somewhat poor effort at a dusted pattern of icing sugar on top. When taken home and consumed I was more impressed with the overall taste and experience of eating it, thankfully.

Thankfully the pastry was fresh, crisp and golden brown in colour, though not quite as caramelised as other patisseries I’ve visited. I read that the bakery use an authentic French flour and a day old pastry fermenting process. The custard was lighter than normal, like a creme diplomat often found in traditional French patisseries. It had some evident vanilla bean speckles, but I wouldn’t have minded some more and more custard overall. I feel that overall the ingredients and tastes of this slice were excellent, but the price was let down by the technique in presentation. When you compare this to my last French Mille-feuille a few posts back, the attention to detail is lacking here; no piping, no icing, no intricacies. No wow factor.
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Preece’s Drive Thru - Beenleigh, QLD

1/5/2022

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Filling: Smooth and creamy vanilla custard 8.5/10
Pastry: Dark brown, caramelised and extremely flakey 10/10
Presentation: Well proportioned but averagely built 7.5/10
Value for money: $6-6.50 - medium portion size, indulgent 8/10
Overall score: 8.5/10

I recently discovered Preece’s have a drive thru in Beenleigh, and having had their highly rated vanilla slice back in March 2021, I was keen to “drive through” en-route to the Gold Coast.

Preeces’s at the Jetty review from March 2022 is found here:
http://byronsvanillasliceblog.weebly.com/snot-blog/preeces-at-the-jetty-redcliffe-qld

My curiosity was satisfied with my purchase, and indeed their slices are consistently very good. The one today was almost identical to my previous one, albeit the price was advertised as $6 on the menu board when ordering, then listed as $6.50 at the payment window. Therefore exact price is unknown? My tasting notes this time around indicated the outstanding quality of the freshly baked flaky pastry. It is the standout component of their slice for sure; buttery, intensely crisp and caramelised with a dark brown, almost brûléed texture. Other than that my review would look largely the same as my previous one. I will no doubt call in for my drive through coffee and Snot Blocks when heading down the coast.

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Vegan homemade - Christmas 2021, QLD

12/27/2021

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Filling: Piped vanilla bean soy milk custard 8.5/10
Pastry: Caramelised, tightly puffed and flakey 9.5/10
Presentation: I tried my best to be festive and artisan! 8/10
Value for money: N/A
Overall score: 8.7/10

Christmas Day planning involved bringing a dish to share at a friends house. As well as a savoury dish, I was keen to bring something that my dairy allergic children could enjoy amongst the likely dairy-heavy dessert offerings. I took the necessary precautions to research numerous vanilla slice recipes (both dairy and dairy free) to synthesise something that I could competently pull off and would be fun to experiment with.

I settled on a soy milk based vanilla bean custard, still containing lots of egg and the normal quantities of cornflour and gelatin to enable a slightly set texture that could be piped later. I also found good videos on YouTube of how to bake shop bought puff pastry by caramelising caster sugar to provide an additional layer of crunch and moisture protection from the custard, so put this to good use. The topping came courtesy of a health shop-bought dairy free whipping cream alternative that more closely resembled marshmallow fluff. It provided the sweetness of an icing whilst looking decorative and an adhesive for a cheeky raspberry.

The response from friends was positive and I was pleased with my efforts. Most people stated that the custard felt lighter than dairy, but just as indulgent, with only a subtle hint of soy. The pastry, having been caramelised made the slices super crisp and a joy to cut and pick up. The most satisfaction came when my children, especially my son, was able to ask for a slice, then another one later in the day with absolutely no risk of an allergic reaction!
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Bake Haus Cafe - Clayfield

12/23/2021

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Filling: Slimy, sweet custard 4/10
Pastry: No longer viable as pastry 1/10
Presentation: Potentially OK if fresh, but clearly old and tired 4/10
Value for money: $6.80 small/medium portion, two nibbles then thrown away 0.5/10
Overall score: 2.8/10

Mrs B was running errands in the Albion/Clayfield area, so I found a bakery for her to pop into on my behalf for an obligatory vanilla slice. I’d Google searched and found a promising looking European-themed bakery cafe in Clayfield, and she kindly called in and brought me a slice home. In comparing the image I found on their Facebook page (screenshot image below), with what I was given today left me somewhat disappointed and taken advantage of.

Selling at a whopping $6.80, Mrs B swiftly apologised for the purchase as she had no idea what she had been given. Sometimes these things happen…it’s close to Christmas, standards dip etc. I’ve had bad slices before, I’ve called it when I’ve seen it, I’ve spoken with shop owners and gone back for another review. Bake Haus Cafe must fall into this category, because if they are compliant in selling days old, below par baked goods for nearly $7 then I can’t see how they would get many returning customers.

The slice was instantly recognisable as stale. The pastry looked like it was made of sponge, discoloured and wet. The custard was slightly crusty round the edges and the icing drooped and messy. Worse still came the tasting; a nightmare to hold due to floppy pastry layers, I couldn’t bring myself to taste more than a small bite of the pastry. I then sampled the custard and icing alone, and was left scratching my head when I got a taste of onion?

After minimal eating, the slice found its way into the bin. A real waste of money and time for Mrs B in her pursuits.

After eating one of the best slices earlier this week, this surely goes down as one of the worst.

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Chouquette - New Farm, QLD

12/22/2021

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Filling: Piped vanilla bean creme patisserie 9.5/10
Pastry: Caramelised, buttery and flakey 10/10
Presentation: Beautiful presentation, first ever gold leaf 10/10
Value for money: $8 -Medium portion, indulgent and delicious 9/10
Overall score: 9.6/10

With a few days left ‘til Christmas, Mrs B and I fancied something authentically French for morning tea. Having moved from Melbourne to Brisbane earlier in the year, we really miss the Parisian Baker in Essendon, with their pain au chocolat and almond croissants still unparalleled. We popped into Chouquette in trendy New Farm, and were optimistic we may have finally found the next best thing to the Parisian Baker, finally!

Indeed that was the case. We ordered the pain au chocolat and almond croissant to go and ate those later and if truth be told, we would have been hard pushed to tell the difference between Chouquettes and the Parisian Baker’s. There and then we also ordered a savoury ham and cheese croissant, two lattes and a beautifully arranged Mille-feuille. It’s great to see a business sticking to its intentions of baking using traditional methods with authentic, imported ingredients from France. I’ve encountered so many imposters in my 6 years of blogging.

I’ve always stated that price is often overlooked based on the overall quality and value for money of each individual item. The Mille-feuille was an expensive $8, but the croissants and other items cheaper than their counterparts back in Melbourne. To be honest the quality and attention to detail that had gone into the vanilla slice was outstanding. The pastry was caramelised, buttery and intensely rich, while the vanilla cream custard had been beautifully piped and assembled between the pastry, topped with a very thin layer of vanilla icing and dark chocolate fondant…and a cheeky gold leaf corner for finishing. At first I thought the slice could have been bigger for its price, but after finishing it with my coffee I was suitably full and satisfied. I docked the custard half a point based on its overall lack of sweetness, and if not eaten with the layer of icing the slice was a little muted.

I can 100% guarantee that I will be back with Mrs B in tow for our nostalgic Melbourne morning teas at Chouquette - regularly.
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Mum’s Bakehouse - Birkdale, QLD

11/15/2021

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Filling: Airy, fluffy, creamy custard 7.5/10
Pastry: Layers puffed and flaky 8/10
Presentation: Unassuming but competently assembled 8.5/10
Value for money: $4.20 - Medium portion but substantial 7/10
Overall score: 7.8/10

I stumbled upon Mum’s Bakehouse completely by accident, but ended up with a pretty good vanilla slice and two free candy canes for my kids. I always scope out the cabinets where possible before making a decision, but these looked fresh and well put together. Selling at a very reasonable $4.20 for a medium to large sized portion I took the slice outside and demolished it in the car park while the kids got their own sugar fix.

The pastry was puffed but delicate and flaky. It allowed for easy pickup but lacked some saltiness. It could have been baked for a little longer for a darker brown colour. The custard was plentiful. A mass of very light and fluffy creamed custard, but sadly missing just missing the mark with natural vanilla flavour. The top layer of pastry had a heavy dusting of icing sugar which caused some slight issues with the breeze, but other than that the slice was a straight forward and enjoyable consumption.
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MacNellies Coomera River Bakery - Coomera, QLD

11/2/2021

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Filling: Thick, yellow, non-descript custard 4/10
Pastry: Thick but crumbly and fresh 6/10
Presentation: Flat and unusual ratios, dubious topping 5/10
Value for money: $3.50 - Medium portion, not a bargain 4.5/10
Overall score: 4.9/10

I popped into an unknown bakery whilst driving to Dreamworld. I later found out the name to be MacNellies. In need of a quick pie and a potential vanilla slice I ordered and took my goods out to the car. The steak pie was tasty, nothing mind blowing but it did the trick. The vanilla slice on the other hand was an interesting critter. Selling for only $3.50, it was of a medium build size, with hefty layers of puff pastry and thick yellow custard. The topping turned out to be an unknown concoction consisting of passion fruit and desiccated coconut frosting. Not good. The pastry was fresh and at least gave the slice a backbone to pick up and eat, though the custard lacked real notable flavour and smoothness. This looked like a well established, no frills bakery. The slice is close to how many would remember their snot blocks from their childhoods, and at this price who can really complain!?
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Rainforest Bakery - Everton Hills, QLD

10/23/2021

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Filling: Whipped cream and average custard 6/10
Pastry: Thickish and soft, middle layer soggy 4.5/10
Presentation: Well proportioned, tall construction, lacking finesse 6.510
Value for money: $5.50 - medium/large portion, filling but forgettable 6/10
Overall score: 5.8/10

I hadn’t intended on grabbing a vanilla slice today, but as fate would have it I stumbled upon Rainforest Bakery while nearby. I decided to take a punt and found a range of options in their comprehensively stocked cabinets, including a traditional and French vanilla slice. I gravitated towards the double stacked, lightly dusted offering and drove home to consume with the aid of cutlery.

My assumptions for the slice were that the pastry’s slightly thick and pale complexion may have resulted in soggy, flavourless pastry. I was right. The pastry lacked firmness and the entire middle layer was so soggy and compacted that it was better without it. The heavy whipped cream was fine, but the custard itself ironically lacked creaminess and vanilla content. If eaten blindfolded you might be hard pushed to guess what the custard was. The portion and components had potential, but the ingredients and execution lacked.

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Banjo’s Bakery Cafe - Redcliffe, QLD

10/19/2021

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Filling: Sloppy and overly sweet custard 6/10
Pastry: Thin, but softened from moisture 5/10
Presentation: Well proportioned with decorative icing 7.5/10
Value for money: $5.40 - medium portion, messy but lacking overall 6/10
Overall score: 6.25/10

Following on from a swim in Settlement Cove lagoon and a walk through the Redcliffe Market, I called into Banjo’s and took out a French vanilla slice. What more could you want from your Sunday?

I might have missed the memo which made this vanilla slice ‘French’ with a somewhat standard custard between pastry construction and fondant iced top. There wasn’t any additional cream or tri pastry (a la Mille-feuille) to note. The slice itself looked promising but when handled it was evident it had been in the fridge for a while. The sogginess of the pastry coupled with the hot sun made this thing melt in transit from hand to mouth. The pastry lacked firmness and flake, the custard missing noteworthy vanilla content and an airy whipped texture. The icing proved messy and sweet, with the chocolate remaining as the main after taste.

I’ve seen Banjo’s in Victoria before but always resisted the temptation to sample. This was my first Banjo’s experience, and it was OK, but not breath taking, especially with the slightly higher than average price for a medium sized snot block.
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Kefenio - West End, QLD

10/11/2021

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Filling: Creamy semolina custard 6.5/10
Pastry: Golden and soggily sweet with syrup 8.5/10
Presentation: Neatly portioned 6/10
Value for money: $5 (estimate) - Medium portion, filling 7/10
Overall score: 7/10

I work in South Brisbane, so to hear that nearby was an authentic Greek cafe/restaurant selling baklava and galaktoboureko (Greek custard slice), I had to give them a go. This is my second galaktoboureko eaten and reviewed, the first of which came a few years ago from a friend’s mother in-law.it’s categorised in the ‘homemade’ section if interested.

I bought two triangles of baklava and two triangular portions of the custard slice, one each for Mrs B and one for me, for a total of $16. A good outlay overall on some typically Greek baked goods. We both agreed that the baklava was outstanding, very syrupy pastry and filling full of cinnamon and flavour. The galaktoboureko on the other was hand was good, but wasn’t outstanding. We both agreed the portion sizes were ample and the filo (phyllo) pastry was sweet, soggy and golden. The semolina custard lacked vanilla content in comparison to the one a few years ago but had creaminess and proved very filling.
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Saigon Bakehouse - East Ipswich, QLD

10/1/2021

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Filling: Pudding mix style custard 6.5/10
Pastry: Interestingly baked, slightly puffed, fresh 6/10
Presentation: No frills approach, lightly dusted 6/10
Value for money: $4.50 - Medium portion, sweet and half decent 7/10
Overall score: 6.4/10

I was out in Ipswich with morning tea approaching. I called into Saigon Bakehouse with knowledge that they would sell some tasty Vietnamese lunch options and duly obliged. I took out a lemongrass chicken salad bowl and a lemon slice for Mrs B, and the obligatory vanilla slice for me.

She loved her salad but didn’t like the gelatinous lemon curd-esque slice, meaning I finished it after my vanilla slice. Being a fan of lemon curd it was an added bonus. My slice was reasonably good value for money in terms of size, freshness and overall satisfaction. It was simply constructed and when turned sideways it was interesting to see how the layers had been baked, with lightly risen pockets giving the slice some good puff texture. I was pleased the pastry was fresh as the outcome of this review would have looked completely different if soggy. The custard was thick and stodgy, similar to a pudding mix and milk consistency. It was tasty and sweet at least. Other than that the service was friendly and locals were calling in for their baked goods, which is always a good sign.
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Lena’s Bakehouse - Brisbane CBD, QLD

9/28/2021

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Filling: Thick but fluffy vanilla custard 8.5/10
Pastry: Three layers, golden but lacking crispness 6/10
Presentation: Stacked tall, topped with sticky fondant icing 8/10
Value for money: $6 - large portion, sweet and rich 8/10
Overall score: 7.6/10

It’s rare that I aimlessly walk around the city centre, so I made sure I had a pit stop for a cheeky vanilla slice in store. Needless to say, Lena’s Bakehouse was my target for today. Hidden away in the underground food court of Post Office Square the bakery came highly recommended on the internet. Selling two types of vanilla slice (standard and French) I opted for the slightly more expensive but considerably larger variety.

The slice was made up of three dark brown, well defined layers of pastry, with copious amounts of creamy vanilla custard that was fluffy but incredibly rich. The pastry would have been good when freshly baked but when handled the slice indicated it might not have been fresh out the oven. With no utensils in sight I had to pick up this beast. With gravity my enemy in trying to bring the slice down, coupled with the grip of finger and thumb, the whole thing became a bit of a sticky mess to try and eat. The residue left on my thumb from the sweet sticky (and now melted) icing caused sugary fingerprints all over my phone soon after. A relatively pricey baked good, but no denying the quantity and thought gone into its creation. I would be keen to try this one again when just baked and on an empty stomach.
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Rick’s Artisan Pies and Sourdough Bakery - Noosaville, QLD

9/24/2021

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Filling: Lighter than air whipped vanilla cream custard 8/10
Pastry: Firm, flaky dark layers 8/10
Presentation: Great proportions and ratios, neatly iced 8.5/10
Value for money: $6 (estimate) - medium/large portion, thoughtfully constructed 9/10
Overall score: 8.4/10

My last visit to Noosa drew a blogging blank due to a huge vanilla slice en route at the Eumundi market nearly two years ago. This time around I did my homework and identified a well established family run bakery specialising in artisan baked goods. Mrs B and I pulled up mid-morning to find a queue out the door (which is always a good sign) so joined, ordered and vacated quick smart. Service was friendly and not pressured, even given the nature of the queue and vast options for sweet and savoury items on offer.

We took out two flatbreads to eat later at the beach; one roasted vegetable and one bbq beef brisket. Both were enjoyable and filling (but not overly memorable) on the Noosa main beach in the glorious sunshine. In hindsight I should have opted for a pie, they all looked delicious. The vanilla slice was in its own box and that was eaten straight away as a shared item along with Mrs B and a disposable fork. All three items came to $24.

We were both impressed at the quality of the ingredients that had gone into the making of the slice and commented on just how firm and fresh the hefty slabs of dark brown flaky pastry were. Even with the use of a wooden fork the layers were tough to break down into mouth sized chunks. The result meant a large mess of custard in the box and due to the butter icing topping I resisted the temptation to pick up my portion. I’m not usually a fan of the butter icing in a vanilla slice (it seems to be more of a queensland thing) but this one was delicious. Velvety smooth and sweetened with passionfruit it added real value to the savoury layers of pastry and semi-sweet whipped cream vanilla custard. My only criticism of the slice was with the richness of the custard. If I had my way I’d have liked it to be more eggy and more like a traditional custard rather than a whipped cream. Delicious none the les s and well worth a pit stop when in town.
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Slice Patisserie - Upper Coomera, QLD

9/21/2021

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Filling: Fresh whipped cream on slightly set vanilla custard 8/10
Pastry: Thin, fresh and flaky layers 8/10
Presentation: Well proportioned, neatly squared 7.5/10
Value for money: $4.50 - medium portion, fresh and satisfying 9/10
Overall score: 8.1/10

With a day out at Dreamworld with the kids I needed my mid morning fix and found a nearby bakery in Upper Coomera to call in at. Ordering a curried steak pie and French vanilla slice, I spent a very reasonable $10 and consumed the goods outside, with Mrs B opting for a fresh cream jam donut. We were both very impressed by the prices and friendly service we experienced inside of the bakery. We were further impressed by the quality of the pies and freshness of the sweets.

My French vanilla slice could have gone either way, but the pastry was thankfully fresh and flaky, breaking apart easily with minimal effort. The custard was a little more set than I was expecting but the vanilla was strong and when eaten with the fresh whipped cream it was thoroughly delicious. The slightly set texture actually aided the consumption and there was exactly zero squashed custard deposits on the pavement when I had finished. Mrs B found the donut most fulfilling, though it did get the better of her and I had the last bite to save wastage. A real gem of a bakery just around the corner from Dreamworld. No doubt I will be back in future.
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Chatterbox Cafe - Toowong, QLD

9/6/2021

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Filling: Thick vanilla custard 7/10
Pastry: Soggy and delaminating 3/10
Presentation: Squat and narrow, messy and tired 4/10
Value for money: $5.90 - Tastier than predicted but way overpriced 5/10
Overall score: 4.75/10

With the vanilla slice landscape seemingly quite desolate in Brisbane in recent weeks I stumbled upon Chatterbox Cafe inside Toowong Village shopping centre. I initially saw the slice and wasn’t prepared to pay the $5.90 due it’s small stature. I soon talked myself into it and thought it would be a nice Fathers Day treat!

Upon first pickup the posture of the slice drooped and became tricky to manoeuvre, the layers of pastry delaminated and the layer of icing fell off. I swiftly reassembled and took large bites to get the task completed with minimal embarrassment. Though clearly not fresh off the production line and not made with finesse and delicacy, the overall taste was rather nice. An unexpected white chocolate icing made the slice sweet and rich, and offset the thick vanilla custard well. It’s shame the pastry, freshness and price let the item down overall.
Picture
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Bisou Bakery - Surfer’s Paradise, QLD

7/5/2021

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Filling: Light and fluffy whipped cream custard 8/10
Pastry: Thin fresh layers but not overly flaky 6.5/10
Presentation: High but small rectangle, not as elegant as other images 6/10
Value for money: $5 (estimate) Tasty and sweet, but more wouldn’t hurt 7/10
Overall score: 6.9/10

Sampling The Gold Coast’s “Famous vanilla slice” was today’s challenge, though how famous is it really if I only heard about it yesterday?! Having seen somebody tweeting about the vanilla slices at Bisou Bakery I searched to see it’s location. With Surfer’s Paradise being an hour from home I took the opportunity to go for the drive with the sun out. Mrs B ordered a smoked salmon bagel, a small latte, a tea and said slice for a reasonably expensive $28. She was in her element with her brunch item of choice and I too enjoyed the strong small latte prior to devouring my sweet treat in what felt like three bites.

Noticeably light and fluffy, the filling was sweet, creamy and fresh. It’s appearance looked like a cloud that had been carved with a knife. The pastry was not as good as I was expecting. Sure it was thin and firm, but it didn’t crunch and flake with the pressure of the fork. A few enjoyable mouthfuls later and it was gone, as was my coffee.
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The Baker’s Corner - Carina, QLD

6/28/2021

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Filling: Sloppy thickened cream 5/10
Pastry: Thick, dense slabs 3/10
Presentation: Poorly proportioned and unappealing 2/10
Value for money: $5.50 (estimate) Medium portion, sickly and unappetising 3/10
Overall score: 3.3/10

This place promised more. A cool little neighbourhood, busy from the outside, but $14 only buys you a small latte, vanilla slice and a fresh cream donut.

The vanilla slice looked like it had been run over by a reversing car with a short, squashed appearance. The pastry was about three quarters of the overall height of the slice and so dense it was impossible to stomach. It was more like a short crust pastry, or the texture of the pastry on the underside of a fruit strudel. The custard itself turned out to be little more than double cream with a hint of thickening agent and sugar. It’s rich heaviness was also too much to complete and most squished out the sides on to the Horan paper bag. Mrs B enjoyed her donut, but she was ravenous at the time. The latte was a little better than average.
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Kenmore Village Bakery - Kenmore, QLD

5/16/2021

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Filling: Set high, thick, lacking flavour 5/10
Pastry: Appetising colour and flake, not fresh 5/10
Presentation: Well proportioned, promising aesthetics 7.5/10
Value for money: $4.60 - Huge portion, not fresh, disappointing taste 6/10
Overall score: 6/10

With plenty of new opportunities for exploring in new neighbourhoods, I stumbled across the Kenmore Village Plaza, and more specifically the Village Bakery. With Vietnamese influence evident, I actually thought the pies looked more tasty than the pre-packaged banh-mi, so I took out a curried beef pie and a large slab of their delicious looking vanilla slice. I was completely justified with the pie choice, it was thoroughly delicious. One of the best curried pies I have had outside of Gusto in Melbourne. The vanilla slice, however, turned out to be a little disappointing.

Aesthetically, it looked not only very large, but consisted of generous amounts of filling and evident flaky dark brown pastry sheets. Whilst the pastry had the right characteristics it was certainly not fresh that morning. There was an obvious lack of rigidity when picking this thing up, and based on the distinct lack of crunch when bitten, the quality of pastry was not as good as I predicted. The filling also proved underwhelming. A rich, yellow, thick custard proved to be a heavy set milky custard lacking in the vanilla department. All together, I had to throw away about one sixth of the slice due to being overly full. Big portion but not big in flavour.
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The Flour Monkey Bakery - Carina, QLD

5/12/2021

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Filling: Thick, grainy, tasteless gloop 1/10
Pastry: Puffed but lacking crunch and brownness 5/10
Presentation: Poorly presented, hidden in glass cabinet 3/10
Value for money: $4.50- Small/medium portion size. Mostly thrown away 2/10
Overall score: 2.75/10

On a long drive back from the seaside, Mrs B and I made the call to pull in and pick up something sugary when the opportunity presented itself. Driving through Carina I spotted the Flour Monkey Bakery and thought it sounded interesting so would give it a try. I really wish I had kept driving!
My view of some cakes and slices were obstructed by the lady in front and when I got a clear view I had already been served by the member of staff so had to go with it. I ordered Mrs B a caramel slice and I took both items back to the car for quick consumption.

We both complained about the poor ingredients, flavours and overall satisfaction of our items. Her caramel slice tasted of very little, just sweetness. My vanilla slice too lacked almost every necessary element to make it a hit; flavour, freshness, crunch, saltiness and custardy creaminess. The filling was most unusual and rather unpleasant if I’m being honest. It was thick and slightly gelatinous but with an unusual grainy texture that was most unwelcome. Moreover, it was completely devoid of any taste or creaminess. A complete waste of stomach space. The pastry was thick in places and baked alright, but it lacked butter content and flakiness so I chose not to eat it. The hideously sweet passionfruit icing would normally have gone down well, but after tasting all components together I realised I wasn’t going to persist and I didn’t really want to just eat a layer of icing! Not good.
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    Welcome

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