Pastry: Thin layers but not baked for a rich crunchiness 6/10
Presentation: Nicely proportioned, misleadingly iced 8/10
Value for money: $4.50 - medium portion size, nice enough but not what I expected 7/10
Overall score: 7.1/10
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Filling: Above average, smooth creamy custard 7.5/10 Pastry: Thin layers but not baked for a rich crunchiness 6/10 Presentation: Nicely proportioned, misleadingly iced 8/10 Value for money: $4.50 - medium portion size, nice enough but not what I expected 7/10 Overall score: 7.1/10 The big drive from a Melbourne to Brisbane. My first pit stop an hour and a half into my first leg found me in Seymour. Having never visited the town before I took a punt of a pie and bakery shop for my obligatory vanilla slice. With a double espresso to sharpen my driving skills and a (so thought) passion fruit vanilla slice in tow I consumed them in the car with the cat to my side in her box. Upon the first bite it was obvious that the icing was not passion fruit at all, but plain and that the pastry might cause some serious custard dropping on my lap. The filling was served in a large dose and provided some precarious biting and nibbling action to halt the eruption. The pastry’s rigidity made the experience less than enjoyable and let the slide down overall. The custard was airy and light but lacked a killer punch of vanilla. The icing was fine, just not passionfruit.
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Filling: Heart attack inducing custard / cream combo 8.5/10
Pastry: Solid mass sheets, inedible 2/10 Presentation: Super-sized proportions, visible layer distinction 8.5/10 Value for money: $5.50 - Jumbo portion size, heavy going 5/10 Overall score: 6/10
I was excited to get to The Portarlington Bakehouse, finally, after a weekend at the Bellarine with the family and some friends. A short drive later, I pulled into the picturesque little seaside town and immediately located the bakery. With social distancing in operation I joined the queue and saw the jumbo vanilla slices propped up in the cake cabinet from afar, with this version and also a pink icing variant. I opted for the half/half cream/custard French vanilla slice.
Selling at only $5.50 for such an oversized slice, I felt I was off to a good start. Back at the car, I decided not to risk picking this thing up with my hands and instead opted for a disposal spoon. I encountered my first problem when the spoon met resistance with the pastry layers. The pastry was uncompromising and as hard as a sheet of damp cardboard. The layers were heavily compacted and offered no flake or bite whatsoever. I only managed to have a nibble of a corner and discovered that the pastry was not going to wear down my jaw bones and occupy unnecessary stomach space with such a huge portion of cream based filling still to work through. I instead focused my attention to both layers of fresh whipped cream and devilishly creamy custard. I had spoons of both components independent from one another and mixed together, with all combinations proving a delight. After a dozen or so spoonfuls I reached the end of my mission and felt rather sick! The custard was a good, somewhat vicious constancy, with creaminess and a hint of vanilla. Just a shame about the pastry really.
Filling: Fluffy fresh vanilla cream custard 7.5/10
Pastry: Thin layers, lacking flakiness 5.5/10 Presentation: Nicely proportioned, glossy white icing 8/10 Value for money: $4.30 - Large portion size, filling 8/10 Overall score: 7.2/10
With a family walk in nearby Lerderderg Forest planned, we pulled into Bacchus Marsh for some pre-walk calories first. Mrs B ducked into the bakery and left with two fresh vanilla slices. Normally she wouldn’t indulge in my preferred slice, but she thought they looked decent enough and was easily coerced.
We were both satisfied with the overall quality of the creamy vanilla custard, served in a fairly sizeable portion. It had a nice vanilla taste and was a good consistency as to not squirt out the sides with each bite. Frustratingly the pastry let the slice down, being a great thickness but lacking a flakiness that would have allowed for shards to break off when bitten. The icing was soft and sweet, causing a slight stickiness to my fingers, though with a summers day it could have been significantly worse. We both agreed that the price was reasonable for the size and overall quality on offer, though we would have liked the pastry to be more rich and flaky. Filling: Morish, light and airy vanilla custard 9.5/10 Pastry: Thin, crispy and golden brown 8.5/10 Presentation: Excellent proportions, expertly iced 9/10 Value for money: $4.20 - Medium portion size, surprisingly fresh at 5pm 10/10 Overall score: 9.25/10 This review starts with a story of generosity and a massive thank you. For many years now Simon Sharp, son of Kevin Sharp - the master baker at Sharp’s Bakery in Birchip, has been encouraging me to visit the country Victoria town to sample the best vanilla slice in Australia. With a few tried and failed attempts at reaching Birchip, as well as missing out on sampling a Sharp’s slice at the Mildura 2018 Vanilla Slice Triumph, I was randomly contacted by Simon. He was heading my direction with two freshly baked slices (that morning) and wanted me to have them. I caught up with him at a secret rendezvous point to gladly accept his offering, cementing the deal with a cheeky selfie with my son and a nice chat.
After the short drive home, the vanilla slices had covered approximately 350km from Birchip to Melbourne and were now ready for unpacking and hasty consumption at 5pm! Neatly packed in a takeaway tub with the Sharp’s logo and reminder of their successes at the GAVS Triumph’s over the years, I took one slice out, cut it in half with a sharp knife and was relieved to still hear a crunch and feel the resistance of the blade passing through. Mrs B took a bite, as did I, and we looked at each other waiting for the first one to speak their opinion. The outcome? Very nice indeed. Considering the grand effort of the slices having even reached me in the same day as being baked, in one piece, with no sogginess in the pastry is not only a miracle, but massively impressive - again, thank you Simon. The custard, though not fridge cold, was deliciously light, airy, smooth, not overpoweringly sweet and had a subtle undertone of vanilla. We managed to escape with minimal escaped custard, thankful to the perfect consistency and quantity of the filling. The pastry too, considering the odds, still had excellent crunch and rigidity to be picked up. Two wafer thin layers and a mid brown bake ensured notable savoury flavour to the slice. Finally, a delicate layer of perfectly formed icing ensured maximum sugar delivery to our flailing 5pm needs. We were also impressed that we didn’t have any sticky icing finger prints when the goods were scoffed. So overall, I’m thrilled to have finally ticked Sharp’s off my list. I’d love to actually visit Birchip and have one fresh off the shelf next time. To be honest, there isn’t much difference in the products on sale in Sharp’s and Bridgwater Bakehouse (current winners of the Triumph for the second year running). I’m sure it will only be a matter of time until Sharp’s take out the title again. Simon, you’re a legend! Thanks to Kevin for the slices too, and good luck at the 2020 GAVST in August. Filling: Heavily thickened vanilla custard and strawberry jam 7.5/10 Pastry: Puffy but softer than expected 6/10 Presentation: Roughly cut slab, heavy dusting of sugar 6/10 Value for money: $7 - Extra large portion size but not ‘just baked’ fresh 5/10 Overall score: 6.1/10 Out for the day strawberry picking with the kids on the peninsula, we popped into Flinders for some morning tea before our time in the strawberry fields of Sunny Ridge. Tempted to hit up the “Biggest and best” vanilla slice from Flinders Fish and Chips, I instead turned my attention to Flinders Sourdough, whose bakery I had been in once before, but sadly no vanilla slices that day.
This time around I gladly left with a ginormous slab of their vanilla slice, selling for a higher than average $7. Though not as large as their neighbour’s I was intrigued to work my way through a genuine wood fired pastry. My first impression of the slice as the discrete layer of jam concealed by the custard on top. The second was the relative ease it was the bend the puffed pastry on top of the slice. It didn’t break away in rigid chunks as I would have expected, but instead was the consistency of ‘baked last night’. The pastry layers were somewhat softer than I’d ha e liked but still tasted delicious. A rich, buttery, salty taste and a good mid to dark brown in colour. The jam turned out to be strawberry flavour (rather fittingly) and was a sweet addition to the heavy, creamy vanilla custard. I had to eat the slice with a fork as there would have been no way of picking it up without losing my dignity. A worthy addition to the Blog, but next time I might seek a ‘just baked’ alternative.
Filling: Average sweetened whipped cream custard 6/10
Pastry: Not fit for purpose, soggy and bendy 3/10 Presentation: Lopsided, rough cut, messy 3/10 Value for money: $6.50 - Tiny slice, stale, overpriced 2/10 Overall score: 3.5/10
Out for the day in the beautiful Dandenong Ranges, I stopped at Mount Dandenong to admire the views. Sadly with the smoke haze there were no views, so instead I ventured into Sky High Cafe for an iced coffee and a cheeky vanilla slice. I’d forgotten to print the voucher that allowed me to buy one, get one free, so I paid $6.50 for just the one hoping that it would be top. I was presented with the tiniest portion in a non-descript paper bag and took it outside to consume.
When I first gripped the bottom layer of pastry it bent to the counters of my fingers and was clearly soggy and stale. The top layer had shed the majority of the icing sugar and looked less affected by the moisture in the filling. The custard immediately squashed and dropped from the pastry sheets when handled and had to be eaten with fingers inside of the paper bag - it really was a messy and unenjoyable episode. The custard turned out to to be nothing more than a sweetened, whipped cream. It certainly wouldn’t place in a beauty contest, and is certainly not what I’d classify as good value for money (even if purchased as buy one get one free). Shame on Sky High Cafe for selling sub standard vanilla slices at a Sky High price. Filling: Fresh but gloopy vanilla custard 6.5/10 Pastry: Freshly baked sheets, lacking crunch and richness 6/10 Presentation: Neatly constructed and square cut 7.5/10 Value for money: $3.50-4 (estimate) - Medium sized portion, fresh but too sweet 6/10 Overall score: 6.5/10 Heading to the annual Kilmore Show with the kids, we pulled into the last bakery before our turn off. Kemp’s Bakery sits proudly on the high street with a giant sign stating they bake all products on site daily - great!
Mrs B took out a custard tart and bought me a pink-topped vanilla slice, for a combined $7. With a hefty layer of pink icing on top of pale sheets of pastry and a gloopy looking custard filling, I wasn’t predicting 10/10 for this one. Having said that. The filling was rather nice; fresh, sweet and vanilla flavoured custard - pretty much what you’d want from a bakery staple. The pastry was indeed a bit under baked and though fresh, didn’t offer great resistance from picking up and biting. Somewhat flimsy and lacking crunch the last few mouthfuls were a bit messy with the custard wanting a swift exit from the sandwich. With a moment of in my head “I told you so“, the icing was pink and laced with a raspberry flavour that was just too sweet and synthetic for my palette. Not the best result overall, but worthy of the pit stop. I forgot to mention that Mrs B hates nutmeg too, which made the custard tart a very bad choice for her morning tea purchase!
Filling: Rubbery yellow custard 4.5/10
Pastry: Tightly packed thin layers with some crispness 5.5/10 Presentation: Dubiously set, bulging filling 3/10 Value for money: $unknown - Medium portion size, day old so not fully consumed 5/10 Overall score: 4.5/10
Mid afternoon on the Tuesday after the long weekend, my colleague informs me of a gift that he’d forgotten to give me earlier. From the cupboard and not the fridge he pulls out a brown paper bag with vanilla slice held within. He had picked it up yesterday heading home from Mount Buller, and had brought the slice in and left it in the cupboard! As not to seem rude, but slightly concerned about a potential upset stomach from its lack of refrigeration, I delicately plunged a finger into the rubbery filling that revealed itself to be pulled apart in chunks. I also endeavoured to nibble at the edge of the slice as to sample some of the pastry with the custard. Though a day old and unrefrierated for 6 or so hours, the pastry still had some life left in it, proving to be slightly crispy and clearly unaffected by moisture due to the solidified texture of the custard filling. Though this review might not be 100% accurate due to the nature of my tasting and unknown price,, one can deduce that the pastry when fresh probably would have been pretty decent, the custard not so much.
Filling: Heavily set, flavourless custard 4/10
Pastry: Soggy, bendy layers 3/10 Presentation: Rectangular, glossy white icing 5.5/10 Value for money: $5 - Overpriced, poor quality product 4/10 Overall score: 4.1/10
Stopping at San Remo to catch the pelican feeding, I indulged in a vanilla slice to snack on as I walked. It proved to be quite a disappointment. Compatrible in characteristics to a Ferguson Plarre slice, though not as tasty, it was let down by lacklustre pastry and heavily set custard. It was most likely baked the day before as the sheets of pastry had become soft and flexible when picked up. The custard too barely moved, and in fact aided the slice from falling to pieces like an adhesive. It also lacked notable vanilla content, creaminess and of course, a terrible texture. The icing was the best element, but icing alone cannot be enough to win me over. If only I was allowed to feed the pelicans with my unwanted slice, I wouldn’t have had to throw it in the bin. Interesting to note that San Remo Bakehouse offer discounted “yesterday’s bread”, but clearly not the case with their other products.
Filling: Oozy creamy custard 7.5/10
Pastry: Thin, fresh but not mind blowing 6/10 Presentation: Squarely cut and dusted with good proportions 7.5/10 Value for money: $4 - Good price to fulfilment ratio 8/10 Overall score: 7.25/10
With a trip out to the country came and opportunity to grab lunch on the go from Marysville Bakery. With the town seemingly to myself on a quiet morning I breezed in, ordered and disappeared in a flash. Selling at $4 a pop the vanilla slices looked pretty good in their takeaway boxes, with a fresh, fluffy custard most notable. In my first bite I inhaled some sugar which brought about a coughing fit, but I pushed through and ate the slice in no time. The pastry gave me reassurance of freshness, with a nice crunch with each bite, though the actual flavour and richness was not as good as it could have been. The custard was probably the best element; with a smooth, creamy and light consistency that oozed out of the sides with each bite. I narrowly avoided a custard spillage, successfully transporting all contents into my mouth with military precision. Not a bad stop, great curry pie is also worth noting.
Filling: Vanilla custard with rather nice chocolate mousse 8/10 Pastry: Disappointingly soft, not up to standard 3/10 Presentation: Not refined, somewhat messy, coffee icing 4/10 Value for money: $4.80 - Average portion size, not great 5/10 Overall score: 5/10 It’s rare that I drive through Woodend and don’t stop at Bourkies. In five years doing the Blog, the mocha vanilla slice has always eluded me. I’ve smashed all of their other varieties (vanilla, strawberry, passionfruit, raspberry fusion), all with excellent attributes. In finally taking out the mocha slice, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. I’m not sure if Bourkies are using different pastry, or they were just having an off day, but the two sheets in this offering were lacklustre, soggy and barely baked. The chocolate mousse was really quite tasty; airy, sweet and a rich chocolate flavour. It worked well with the sweet, but still slightly bitter coffee icing, producing the mocha flavour as advertised. Hidden in the ensemble was still their traditional vanilla custard that in truth got lost in flavour, but was still very welcome. I feel that $4.80 is too steep for this ‘artisan’ variety and coupled with the poor pastry today, it really should have been more memorable for the right reasons.
Filling: Smooth, creamy custard 6.5/10 Pastry: Pale and lacking bite 4/10 Presentation: Average, overly thick white fondant icing 5/10 Value for money: $4.20 - Average portion size, easily forgettable 5.5/10 Overall score: 5.25/10 Romsey Hot Bread Bakery was my pit stop while driving to Edgar’s Mission. I took out a half decent looking vanilla slice, though dubiously pale looking pastry could have gone either way. When handled, I immediately felt the somewhat soft pastry, though I left my judgement for the bite and taste tests. The pastry was not awful, though it was a million miles from being buttery and flaky. It handled sufficiently to allow large bites of all layers, with a heavy icing being very overbearing on top. The custard was actually nice; milky, creamy and velvety smooth in texture, with a hint of vanilla essence. A decent enough effort, but not as good as others I’ve tasted in the Macedon Ranges.
Filling: Deliciously sweet, creamy vanilla custard 9/10
Pastry: Thin with excellent biscuity crunch 9/10 Presentation: Run of the mill , square shaped with glossy white icing 7.5/10 Value for money: $4.60 - Medium portion, fresh and satisfying 8/10 Overall score: 8.4/10
With Horsham being a good half way pit stop between Adelaide and Melbourne, I fancied a late afternoon vanilla slice after the somewhat disappointing effort from Keith earlier in the day, Conways popped up on Google as having an excellent slice, so I drove through the town in search of greatness, I was not disappointed either. The slice sells for $4.60, which is slightly higher than most country towns selling similar sized and presented products. It’s presentation is typically Victorian, having now seen many insane varieties in neighbouring states. It was refreshing to have a flaky, crispy crunch from each bite. The delicately thin layers proved sturdy, functional and easy to chow down on. The custard too was very well constructed; sweet, creamy, vanilla flavoured and a nice, smooth, sticky viscosity. The icing was thin, simple and offset the pastry well, while not leaving sticky finger prints for my efforts. Overall a very good vanilla slice, potentially just a little overpriced.
Filling: Woeful pudding mix 2 /10
Pastry: Almost non-existent soggy layers 0.5/10 Presentation: Out of proportion, lacking finesse and love 2/10 Value for money: $3.90 - Small portion (thankfully) but mostly a throwaway job 2/10 Overall score: 1.6/10
Today I was duped. Duped big time. What looked to be a reasonable offering in a busy Bacchus Marsh Bakery, turned out to be a thing of vanilla slice nightmares. When unwrapping the goods, my first headache started when the bag had been welded shut by tacky icing, causing a series of pastry delaminations and any chance of picking up the slice left in the bag. Due to the suspect pastry layers the slice proved too much hassle to consume and was eventually thrown away. Soggy, white pastry and pretty awful pudding mix filling really is not worth the price tag of $4.20. Neither is the claim of ‘French style pastries’ on their window. The whole thing is confused and a real let down.
Filling: Seriously bad, slimey, flavourless ‘custard’ 0.5/10 Pastry: Pathetic, blonde layers, not up to task 1/10 Presentation: Half sized portion, somewhat unrefined 2/10 Value for money: $3.30 - Small portion, fresh but disasterous 2/10 Overall score: 1.4/10 Port Fairy served two purposes in my recent drive across the state - a toilet stop and a bakery endorsed by State Premier Daniel Andrews. Now, Daniel clearly didn’t have one of their vanilla slices, or if he did he has exceptionally low standards of his custard based pastries. Selling a huge $6 slab or half sized portion for $3.30 I opted for the more sensibly sized offering. Given the outcome of my rating, I’m satisfied this was the best option all round!
Firstly three layers of blonde, puffed pastry propped up the sloppy and slimey yellow tasteless filling. Custard would be a bold statement; it really beared little resemblance to custard whatsoever and had little distinguishing features. Daniel might be able to shed some light on the ingredients to the filling, as I could not. A thick dusting of icing sugar was not enough to conceal the poor quality of the components underneath. With last year’s disappointment at a nearby cafe, Cobbs Bakery selling dodgy looking vanillas and now this, perhaps I might only use the toilet when in town next time.
Filling: Thick, eggy vanilla custard 9/10
Pastry: Dark, buttery and tightly compacted flaky layers 9/10 Presentation: Neatly assembled, subtle pink coloured icing 8/10 Value for money: $3.90 - Small portion, fresh and delicious 8/10 Overall score: 8.5/10
Camperdown proved a worthwhile pit stop when heading back from my road trip across the State. I arrived late in the afternoon to find most shops closed, and with The Loaf and Lounge Bakery winding down for the day. Sat in the cake cabinet was one last solo vanilla slice as if fate had already decided it’s eventual consumer. At a reasonable $3.90 the slice was well conceived and offered good value for money overall. The pastry was an excellent dark brown colour, almost verging on burnt, but deliciously rich and salty. It crumbled and flaked when bit, but offered excellent stability when gripping. The custard too was a great recipe and texture; thick, eggy, dark yellow and sweet with vanilla. What let the slice down was the icing, which proved to be a synthetic raspberry flavour that sadly overpowered all the good elements of the slice. It was unavoidable to consume when the icing’s soft and gooey texture allowed finger print impressions to be made. Nevertheless, I was willing to overlook the taste of the icing in favour of the other great elements.
Filling: Lighter than air, creamy vanilla custard 9/10 Pastry: Nicely baked crispness, but not super flaky 8/10 Presentation: Typical Snot Block appearance, matte white icing 8.5/10 Value for money: $3.60 (estimate) - Medium portion, fresh and fulfilling 9/10 Overall score: 8.6/10 Good pit stops can make or break a road trip, so when consulting Google Maps this time round I noticed Terang. Placing 3rd at this year’s Vanilla Slice Triumph in Mildura, their reputation has sky rocketed since last month’s success. Therefore it was only right to pull in to the sleepy town and sample their goods.
Firstly I worked my way through a rather nice curried beef pie and latte, then finishing on the ‘Award winning’ vanilla slice. Similar in presentation to it’s competitors at the show, but with a more muted white matte icing, sized appropriately and combined with other items the cost seemed fair and reasonable. The creamy, yellow filling was extremely light and full of vanilla flavour. It’s ratio to the thin layers of pastry was excellent. Though the pastry was fresh and crispy, it was not as buttery and flaky as others I’ve had. It proved an excellent element to chow down with each bite, but for me it wasn’t as memorable. An excellent pit stop, a very nice vanilla slice and another award winning bakery off the list.
Filling: Beautifully soft and creamy vanilla custard 9.5/10
Pastry: Flaky and dark brown - outstanding 10/10 Presentation: White glossy icing, nothing out of the ordinary, well proportioned 9/10 Value for money: $3.80 - Medium portion, excellent value 10/10 Overall score: 9.6/10
Whilst driving back from Mildura, Mrs B informed me of the results from yesterday’s Australian Vanilla Slice Triumph. With two small kids in tow I wasn’t able to hang around for much longer than a bouncy castle session to hear the results in the flesh. An unknown bakery to me, Bridgewater Bakehouse had won the event. With Lady Luck on my side, Bridgewater was my pit stop for the return journey. It was evident from queuing in the bakery that they had had to up their game to keep up with the demand of such success. Already on their fifth slab and selling out fast by 2.30pm I took out a handful of slices myself. A reasonable price and decent sized portion also proved excellent attributes. I sat outside the bakery with my boy (not sure what he’s snarling at in the pic?) and braced myself. Pastry, excellent. Custard, excellent. Icing, excellent.
Best vanilla slice in the country as voted by the professionals. I have to say it has all the components to back it up. The pastry was an evenly dark, rich colour and milimeter thin and as flaky as you will find. It provided excellent stability for lifting the light and fluffy vanilla custard that was more airy than the previous slices I’ve eaten over the weekend. It reminded me of the Johnny Baker (Castlemaine) slice, with a slight mottled effect of cream/custard. It was exceptionally hard not to drop any as it squashed out the sides with each bite. These guys are going to be busy from now on. Congratulations, well deserved.
Filling: Better than average, fluffy custard 7.5/10
Pastry: Slightly pale and starting to go soggy in the box 5/10 Presentation: Almost glass like icing, average square offering 7/10 Value for money: $3.50 - Small/medium portion, but lacking conviction 6/10 Overall score: 6.4/10
My third slice of the Australian Vanilla Slice Triumph 2018 came from local Mildura bakery, Deakin. Upon my return back to Melbourne I read that they had taken the People’s Award, somewhat surprising to me after my critique the day before. Upon opening my $3.50 slice, it was immediately apparent that the pastry was soggy from its time in the plastic box. The pastry itself was a pale bake and a bit tasteless in comparison to the two slices I had smashed earlier. The custard was quite nice; a good smooth and light texture, but sadly lacking a real hit of vanilla in my opinion. The icing was just as good as Hudak’s and gave me something to clean off my fingers shortly after. Potentially a case of being a local bakery with sizeable fan base in the area? Well done Deakin.
Filling: Award winning vanilla custard 10/10
Pastry: Flaky, golden, thin and decadent 9.5/10 Presentation: Typically styled, white glossy icing 8.5/10 Value for money: $3 - Money well spent 10/10 Overall score: 9.5/10
A six hour drive the night before and waiting in anticipation, Hadak’s took centre stage in the market hall and I pounced. Last year’s winners of the Vanilla Slice Triumph, arrogantly only selling a double helping, set the bar high. My first slice of the trip and what a whopper. I felt my teeth nearly fall out after the first bite as it’s sickly sweet layers were chomped. With their bakery on the corner of the Langtree Mall, it’s not surprising how fresh these things were. Dark, flaky pastry kept the rich, yellow vanilla custard at bay and the icing was as thin and smooth as you’ll see. Hellish sweet, delightfully morish, and they got my vote for the people’s choice....shame they didn’t win. Off to a good start and the second slice doubled up as an excellent breakfast the next day.
Filling: Creamy pudding mix, overly sweet 5/10
Pastry: Lightly coloured, thin layers, crispy and fresh 6.5/10 Presentation: Interesting cube construction, slab of icing on top 6/10 Value for money: $4.90- overpriced for the ingredients, but fresh and large 6/10 Overall score: 5.9/10
With the two year old refusing a nap I decided to drive out to the country, calling into Gisborne. I’d never seen the Bakery & Cafe in my previous visits so decided to call in and see what they had to offer. A rather appealing French vanilla slice selling at a reasonable $4.90 was purchased and I got back into the car for more forced sleep driving. On opening the bag at home (toddler now asleep thankfully) I noticed the third layer of pastry nestled inside the heavy layers of cream. I cut the slice into pieces as it was too large to pick up and immediately felt the crunch of the pastry, then a whack of sweetness from the pudding mix flavoured cream and heavy layer of icing. I was really let down with the quality of the cream as I was at least expecting some vanilla flavour and coupled with the icing the whole thing made my teeth furry. Fresh yes, tasty....not really.
Filling: Tasteless, overly sweet, whipped mixture 4/10
Pastry: Underbaked, soft and lifeless 4/10 Presentation: Proprtionally OK, pale pastry layers, butreasonably well assembled 5.5/10 Value for money: $3.90 - Pocket sized portion, not very satisfying 5/10 Overall score: 4.6/10
A drive out to the Macedon Ranges to observe the stunning autumn leaves falling took me through picturesque Riddells Creek. I called in at their bakery, especially loving their old school wooden display cabinets filled with vintage bakery items like jam tarts and raisin biscuits. I took away a slightly smaller than average vanilla slice and chomped it whilst watching the world go by. What lets down the slice the most is the ingredients of the pastry and custard. The pastry tasted like it contained margarine and was very pale and was already starting to absorb moisture from the filling, though clearly freshly baked. There was a distinct lack of puff, crunch or resistance to the bite. The custard too tasted like packet mixture that I have found in numerous slices throughout my journey. It was light and fluffy but offered no richness and overall a lack of meaningful flavour. The icing was the best element if truth be told; millimeter thin, sticky to a finger grip and not overly sweet.
Filling: Thick, slightly gelatinous but tasty vanilla custard 7.5/10
Pastry: Fresh, crispy and up to the task 7.5/10 Presentation: Commanding stature, overkill on the icing 7/10 Value for money: $5 (estimate) - Huge portion, fresh and mostly fulfilling 7/10 Overall score: 7.25/10
Driving through Wallan gave me an opportunity to swing by Pretty Sally Bakehouse for a takeaway coffee and brick sized vanilla slice. The slice looked intriguing in the glass cabinet, a deep yellow mound of custard topped with a thick layer of whiter than white icing and heavy chocolate lines. I anticipated the icing being overly sweet and somewhat unnecessary, and my estimation was indeed correct. The sheer size of the slice made it hard to wrap my mouth around in one cross sectional bite, so I had to nibble tentatively to avoid total collapse. The custard had a slightly more set texture than I was expecting. But having said that it was very creamy and sang with sweet vanilla. The pastry also held the filling very successfully, and broke apart in flaked sections with each bite. I feel that a dusting of icing sugar would have made this monster so much more rewarding. Clearly the bakery take time to deliver freshly made goods, so in my opinion they should ditch the 1cm thick icing. Also, decent coffee if driving through.
Filling: A poor pudding mix 4/10 Pastry: Soft, unerbaked and tasteless 4/10 Presentation: Very rustic, turgid and sad 4/10 Value for money: $4.20 - big portion, poor quality and a throwaway job 3.5/10 Overall score: 3.9/10 After a failed effort at the Laneway Espresso in Dromana for a homemade vanilla slice en route to a day at Rosebud beach I opted for a ‘Last chance saloon’ effort at the only local bakery selling one. The decor was traditional 1950’s, the ice coffee from a recycled milk carton and the vanilla slice made in house using a tried and tested old school recipe. The pastry was pale and sorry, dropping at the edge and unable to sustain the pressure of a bite. Lacking colour, texture and finally taste, it was a big anti climax. The custard too offered little to nothing; straight from a packet mix, it was milky, sweet and textured with a setting agent. This was your school canteen vanilla slice if ever I saw one. A poor effort after a hot day on the beach and after a few bites a throaway job.
Lastly, don’t have a slogan on your window advertising “Best food on the peninsula” unless you cannot offer anything of such quality, or at least tell people who don’t get sarcasm that its a joke.
Filling: Gloopy but very custardy tasting custard 6/10
Pastry: Fresh and crisp, but too thick and overbearing 6/10 Presentation: Glossy pink topped square 7/10 Value for money: $3.50 - Smaller than average portion, but fresh and tasty 8/10 Overall score: 6.75/10
Heading out to Healesville for the day I pulled into Yarra Glen for morning tea. Recommended to me by Angela Fleay via Twitter, I was keen to see what they had to offer. With two types of vanilla slices to choose from I controversially selected the pink iced vanilla slice and not the dusted, more creamy French vanilla. A slightly smaller than average portion was served to me on a plate, and I could immediately see from it’s lack of wobble that the custard was quite firm in its construction. What’s more, the pastry was quite thick and pale in colour. Thankfully upon its first bite the pastry revealed itself to be fresh and allowed for some fairly easy mouthfuls. The custard was thicker and more rubbery than I would have liked but again the flavour was quite nice. The filling reminded me of day old homemade custard my mum used to make from a packet mix back in the day - I would always poke my nose into the fridge and eat it with a spoon when no one was looking. The icing was better than expected, exceptionally sticky to the touch and heat from my fingers only made it more gooey. I was expecting a smack in the face of oversweetened, synthetic strawberry or raspberry flavouring. Luckily it was quite muted and quite pleasant, with a gentle raspberry flavour running through with each bite.
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January 2022
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